Back then mixed martial arts, or MMA as it’s known, wasn’t super popular. In fact the sport was only just being invented, as various fighters began training across multiple disciplines, mixing strikes, wrestling and submission grappling to become a complete, rounded fighter. From the beginning, the TapouT brand has been associated with MMA, and I’d argue it’s become the defining brand, in the same way as Intel, Oakley and Coca-Cola each define their product space.

The three personalities behind TapouT were Charles “Mask” Lewis, Jr., Dan “Punkass” Caldwell and their tall friend Tim “SkySkrape” Katz. What’s with the nicknames you ask? That’s part of their catch, or gimmick, and it works pretty well. They each have larger-than-life characters that they play up to, and it’s given their business a highly appropriate public face. In March 2009, Mask was tragically killed in a car accident. The MMA world was full of grief, and the genuine friendships that Dan and Tim shared with Charles were exposed and explored for all to see. I was personally upset at the news, even though I’d never met Charles. At the recent MMA Awards, both Dan and Tim were still visibly moved when accepting awards on behalf of Mask and TapouT. They were a family, in all sense of the word.

As with all brands, when MMA hit the mainstream a few years ago, TapouT exploded. I started to see t-shirts popping up in day-to-day life; people in pubs or guys in the city - I even saw a bogan mum with TapouT head-to-toe the other day. It’s no longer a niche brand for those “in the know.” As with MMA, the brand is appealing to a large range of people now, and that’s not always a good thing. My fear is that MMA will become too popular and we’ll start to see the rules modified in ways that create a more exciting experience for the fans. What do I mean? More average people are watching MMA, and they want to see people slugging it out rather than rolling around on the floor. These kinds of people don’t necessarily understand the nuances of MMA and just want to see some fights, some blood and some knock outs. Check the footage of the crowd at any UFC event and you’ll see more blood-thirsty morons than ever before. And most of them are wearing a TapouT shirt.

Now that you’ve got some background, I can focus on my initial point - what drove me, personally, to buy a TapouT shirt. I don’t want to be associated with this meat-head culture, that’s for sure, so why dress like them?

There’s a few reasons, the first being that I feel like I have a better understanding of the TapouT company, including their intentions and influences, than the average person. I have watched a few TV series that the guys did where they highlight an up-and-coming fighter, and follow them through the preparation for their fight. In numerous cases, the humanity and genuine good will that Charles and the other guys showed was heart-warming. I hear the critics and cynics out there saying that they were just presenting a face for their show, and whilst that’s true to some degree, I never felt that it was manufactured. Often they’d genuinely help fighters, providing motivation, support, or even paying their rent in some cases. TapouT cares about MMA, because they were there at the birth. I admire that.

Secondly, I can relate to the almost whimsical approach the three friends had towards their business. Being a partner in a small business, I know how hard it can be to stay true to yourself, and not bend to other people’s expectations. The TapouT crew are eccentric, no doubt, and that’s hard to maintain when you’re running a business.

When people see me wearing a TapouT shirt, I want them to know the real reasons that I admire and respect the company. I want them to know that I am supporting, in my very small and own way, Mask’s legacy and his memory. I hate to sound like the guy that was “into the band before they were mainstream”; that’s not my intention. I want people to know that I’m supporting a brand because it supports a sport I love.

That probably won’t happen, and people will probably presume I’m just another meat-head who likes watching people get beaten up, but I can hope. Does this make sense, or do I just sound like an elitist?

One of the activities we performed at the end of the seminar was an “in the hole” exercise. For this, we have five people starting “in the hole” on their backs with an opponent in their guard. The guard player has to sweep or submit their opponent, whilst the defender has to pass the guard or back out to win. The winner stays in, either keeping or taking the role as attacker and the loser joins the end of a line, from which new defenders cycle in.

I volunteered to be one of the initial hole dwellers, starting on my back with an opponent in my guard. I tend to like fighting from my back so this is an activity that I quite like. I worked my way through three or four defenders until my instructor, Adam, was in my guard. I figured my run would be up, and didn’t have any expectations of beating him. Similarly, he was aware that Robert was doing the exercise with us too, and everyone was anticipating the match up between the two black belts. I think Adam was a little distracted, and wasn’t as focussed on me as he might ususally be.

This was great for me, because as Adam started to pass my guard, I caught him in half-guard, which is a position I’m not very comfortable in. I find people pass through my guard into half, and then straight through to side control. However this time I locked him down and went for a basic half-guard sweep (reverse the positioning and place Adam on his back with me on top). He regained some balance (he has great balance, as you might expect) but I felt he was committed in one direction, so I swept him the other way.

It was only a minor victory, but in terms of my jiu jitsu journey, it’s a milestone. Sure Adam wasn’t at his peak, and if he was concentrating 100% on me then it might not have worked out. But that wasn’t the case, and I won this encounter, this time.

I think it’s what I really needed to kick-start my 2010 training. I have a goal for this year, and if I can string enough small victories together, then I’ll achieve it.

What are some small victories you’ve had in your life that had significance to you?

The Academy runs beginner, intermediate and advanced classes in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. The beginner classes are aimed at, well, beginners. As a one-stripe blue belt, most of the techniques are familiar to me, and whilst you never stop learning, after a certain point you either get something or you don’t.

I feel that the rolling at the end of the beginner class is more for the white belts to practice their techniques than it is for me to smash as many submissions as I can on them. To the casual observer, I get my ass kicked by white belts all the time. They’ll tap me left, right and centre. Sure, I’ve let them get the position and more often than not I’ll coach them through the submission right up until the point I tap, but you won’t see that if you’re on the sidelines. I’m fine with that, and I enjoy the sincere joy my partners show when they’ve executed a move, had a few corrections pointed out, and got the tap.

This works really well with the white belts that know me and my style. They understand that they’ve not actually tapped me (though hopefully they all will at some point), but it can also make me appear as an easy target to the new guys who don’t get my goals from jiu-jitsu, or understand the value I place on helping beginners out. Again, I’m fine with that, but it means that sometimes I have to reaffirm my position a little.

The problem with beginners though is that they’re beginners. They don’t have the control or understanding to execute their moves fluidly and it’s easy for them to hurt themselves or their partners. You always have to be more careful rolling a novice than an expert.

I know it can be intimidating wrestling a more senior person, so I always like to let my training partner set the pace. If they’re a 40kg teenager then they can go hell-for-leather on me and I’m not likely to get into a situation I can’t mange (save them from hurting themselves or me). The problem lies when they’re a young stud who wants to really throw down, because then they’re unpredictible, and have the muscle to back it up.

The worst kind of partner is the one who really goes hard, and then ends up hurting themselves or being hurt by me. That’s not why I train.

I had that tonight with a young guy who came at me “hord-and-forst.” I caught him in an arm lock which knocked a bit of the wind out of his sails, but he then went into retaliation mode, where he thought going “horder-and-forster” was the key. Argh!

If you want to have a slow roll and learn something, then I’m more than happy, but if you want to step it up a notch, you can’t cry when I match your pace and you come off second best.

Remember, it wasn’t me that set the pace.

I decided to check out the shoot class, which is a mixture of striking and grappling - it’s more commonly known as mixed martial arts, or MMA. I figured that my BJJ would count for something and that it’d be a nicer transition.

Aaron and I went to the club on Monday night and got to train with a bunch of new people (and a bunch of familiar faces). The class is more cardio-intensive than a straight-up grappling class. The mixture of striking, takedowns and grappling was a welcome change. It’s a different head-space to punch or knee someone, even if you’re only going light. I picked the guys to spar with a bit more carefully that Aaron did, and he wound up with an accidental knee to the groin. Ouch!

I think that I’ll hit the beginner class once a month for a bit of variety, but BJJ is still my preferred art. I will probably throw in a few shoot classes when I have my week of intensive training… stay tuned for more information on that experiment.

Tonight at jiu-jitsu I choked Aaron unconscious. It’s the first time that I’ve ever held a choke to completion. Immediately after I released the choke I thought that I’d caused him permanent brain damage.

The general rumour on the mats is that if the blood supply to the brain is cut off for ten seconds or more you run the risk of doing irreversible damage. I’m not sure how accurate this is, but I’ve heard it often enough that I consider it fact. It sounds reasonable and there’s no such thing as too much safety. As such, it’s important to tap early from chokes as soon as you know they’re sunk in, otherwise you’ll pass out.

The roll started out the same as any other - I fell back to guard and Aaron tried to pass. I saw an opportunity to take Aaron’s back and because of a small mistake he made I was able to capitalize further and secured a crucifix hold on him. It looked somewhat like this (though I secured his left arm with my legs instead):

We both laughed about how Aaron had given me the hold and then we got stuck back into it. I had the choke on fairly tight and he waved his hand around so I thought he was submitting, but I wasn’t sure. I let the choke off and checked that he was in fact tapping, but he said that he wasn’t.

I don’t like it when people (usually senior belts) let a submission off before you have a good chance to escape it. They think they’re helping you by not slapping something on really hard, but I secretly think it’s to protect their ego a little in case you evade, but that’s another story.

I locked in the choke again and set about putting him to sleep. He was fighting it but didn’t really have anywhere to go, and by the time he admitted defeat to himself his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was starting to splutter.

I’ve not held a choke for long enough to have seen these symptoms before, but I was pretty sure they weren’t good or safe, so I immediately let the choke off and untangled myself from him. As I released the choke he had what looked like a mild siezure. There was some shaking and stiffness that lasted for about 3 or 4 seconds. I was still holding him at this point with his head on my leg. I rolled him to his side thinking that the recovery position was probably a good idea, but he was coherent before I finished moving him.

We owe Emma thanks: I’m sure his mouth guard prevented any damage to his teeth during brain-reboot breakdance.

The confusion was apparent - he had a really scared and shocked look on his face and asked where he was and what was going on. I explained that he had passed out and that we were at jiu jitsu, and that he was OK and to take a deep breaths. Once he was fully concious and talking we went and talked to Adam and I told him what had happened.

His first question was “how long was he out for before you let the choke off?” This BJJ stuff is clearly dangerous.

We sat out for a few minutes and had another roll later but I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I didn’t want to engage and was setting stuff up and letting it go, so I thought that it was a good time to leave. I was like Maverick after Goose was killed, where Sundown is all like “we had him man” and Maverick is all like “I will fire when I am god damn good and ready.” Except nobody died in my story, and there were no F-14s. My hands were shaking when I was talking to Roseann and she asked why I was looking pale. The whole thing shook me up.

So who’s fault is it? Aaron has taken responsibility and told me several times he doesn’t blame me, but I still think I have to shoulder some of it. It does take two to tango after all, and I was the one who put him to sleep. Hell, there’d have been no sleeping without me.

The fear I had was that I held the choke for too long, but the more I think about it the more I am certain that as soon as I knew he was out I let it off.

There doesn’t appear to be any damage done - Aaron is as dumb as usual. I was twisted with the thought that ego might have slipped into my jiu-jitsu and that I was trying to make a point. Reflecting on it all though I know there was no malice and no ill intent. It was just part of the game and Aaron should have tapped sooner.

Reading this it might sound like I’ve made a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s hard to express that sinking, horrific feeling that I had, thinking that I could have just seriously hurt someone I love.

I wonder if it’s worthwhile me completing a Working with Children Check, or if that sends an even worse message. Would I be considered a “volunteer who works with children ages 0-12 years” when I’m training at the club with children I wonder?

Our mats are arranged in a square formation with a bench along the side that separates the kick boxing area from the grappling mats. When we were doing the second half of our warm up routine (1 minute crunches, side-crunches, pushups, leg raises, Hindu squats) Adam asked one of the children sitting on the bench “why aren’t you training?”

Even though it’s an adult beginner class, this boy has trained a few times with us before and actually has pretty good movement and skill. He’s a white-one and I’d estimate he’s about 8 or 9 years old. He wouldn’t weigh more than 35 kilos.

I’ve trained with him once before. Back then I asked him to stay for the first roll of the advanced class which caused some confusion. Adam basically said the opposite of what he was saying now - “you shouldn’t be training with the big boys.” I jumped in and cleared up misunderstanding telling Adam that I’d actually asked him. To my surprise Adam was quick to retract his statement, and said “sorry, I didn’t realise a senior belt has invited you.” That gave good insight into how Adam wants the club to work.

I was doing the warm up next to Adam in the circle so I heard the boys response to Adam this time - “nobody will train with me.”

In a flash I cut in and told him that I’d train with him, and to go put his gi on.

Honestly, when he said that nobody would train with him my heart sunk. What I think he meant is that he didn’t expect anyone to want to train with him, and I think it was actually a fairly grown-up attitude. He wasn’t going to put his enjoyment of BJJ before someone else’s. I know there’s some people on the mats that really don’t like having the kids around and will resent having to train with them, and that’s fine. I think I want something different from my jiu-jitsu.

The kid threw on his gi and finished the warm ups and then we partnered up and did the drills together. We did some guard work which was interesting for three reasons:

• He weighs nothing and is pretty short, so he had a hard time actually wrapping his legs around my waist and putting me in his closed guard.
• I had the opposite issue to deal with - I didn’t want to crush him in my guard. There was a time when I thought I’d hurt his knee as he swept me, but I hadn’t and was just being paranoid.
• He’s an 8 year old boy that I’ve got between my legs, but I’ve discussed that in another post.

I think that training under such extreme conditions - I’m never going to end up fighting an 8 year old - actually adds different perspective to the game. I had to focus on being gentle and I was able to really help him by applying just enough difficulty. At his size and skill, he’s never going to be able to pass my guard, but I could give up things and he could work with what I gave him. Towards the end of the class we did a drill focussing on just that and I saw his determination and tenacity which just reinforced how much he deserved to train.

Maggie asked me later that night what my highlight of the day was and I said it was training with this boy.

On reflection I my inclusive, community-based attitude might have been why I was awarded my purple stripe before any of the other blue belts that I graded with, who incidentally I think are all technically better than me. I might be wrong, but I might be right.

I’m sure every mat has got them: those people that have an excuse prepared every time they’re rolling as to why they might lose a wrestle. They’re tired, have a sore [insert arm, elbow, neck, leg, knee... you choose], or just aren’t feeling right. What they’re saying is that if you manage to beat them it’s because they’re not rolling at 100%, not because you’re doing well.

Our mat’s worst offender returned after 15 months off with a blown out knee… or so he claims. It’s sad that I’m actually questioning the extent of his injury. He’s been a blue belt the entire time I’ve trained there, which is almost three years. I was awarded my blue a few months back and haven’t really had any consistent training since. At the end of the beginner’s session last night this particular guy tried to weasel his way off the mat with a whole manner of excuses but Adam wasn’t having a bar of it. “Before you leave, you have to roll Matt” was the clear instruction.

He loaded me up with excuses but I just told him “Adam said we have to…” and that I’d go lightly if that’s what he wanted.

“Yeah, let’s just go light so I can get back into it. It’s been 15 months… blah, blah, blah.”

I pulled guard and was not really working much, letting him find his posture and not taking the easy sweeps - basic sweep from guard is my bread-and-butter move now. He started to pass using some nasty elbows and before I get a chance to kick it down a gear he’s taken my back and I’m protecting from his hooks, but that doesn’t stop him from snapping on a massive jaw crank.

He yanked on my lapel with such force that it was pulling my jaw out of its socket. I explained to Aaron that my hearing in one ear was fading in and out as he cranked on it. That’s not why I roll, so I tapped for my own safety.

I was really pissed, for two reasons. Firstly, this isn’t what we agreed on at the start of the match. If he had’ve wanted to go hard from the get-go I would have. Secondly, as a new blue, Adam had pitted me against him to see how much skill he’s retained and tapping me in the first minute would have made him look better than he really is.

So we get back to our knees ready to start the second roll and he throws out “OK, now we’ll go slow” to which I replied “nah, you can’t say that and then turn it up - we’re rolling full pace now.” “Ohh but my knee” he cried and I said I’d leave his legs alone.

I spent a few minutes moving around him from dominant position to dominant position with the intention of annoying him before I locked in the figure 4 and finished the match. I think it’s the first time I’ve tapped him even though I’ve been close before…

… but he’s not feeling 100% at the moment.

But the best part (along with the hilarious children’s names) was that Jimmy confronted Rampage about playing B.A. Baracus, the character made famous by Mr. T in the upcoming film-length remake of “The A-Team.” Rampage was coy about the whole thing, being quick to correct Jimmy that he’s only doing a screen test for the part, but that he planned on playing B.A. and not Mr. T, even though though he threw in a highly-accurate “I pity the fool.”

Adam has traditionally had his coach, John Will, present the coloured belts every 3-4 months when he’s in Western Australia for a jiu jitsu seminar.

When I was in Melbourne last year at the Machado Nationals I talked to Adam about me receiving a blue belt, and how I imagined it happening. I said that whilst I respect John and his skill, to me he’s not really an important or influential part of my jiu jitsu. I asked that when the time came (and if it came!) for Adam instead to present me with my blue belt.

Adam’s been my coach from the beginning and is immensely influential in my study of the martial arts. Considering the achievement that attaining a blue belt is, I wanted to get all that I could out of the presentation. It might sound corny, but it was Adam that was acknowledging my progress over the last two and half years, so I wanted it to be him that presented my belt. A few weeks ago I gave Adam a gentle reminder that I wanted this, and he let me know that he hadn’t forgotten.

I’m not sure if it was this discussion specifically, or if it had any influence at all on Adam, but he decided that he was going to present all the coloured belts from now on. I mean, he’s a black belt in his own right, so he doesn’t need the “approval” of John when issuing belts.

This meant that I was the second person ever (I should have pushed in front of Joe ;) to have a coloured belt awarded by Adam, and I was among the first group ever. Sure, he’s graded people to that level before, but it’s never been him actually awarding the belt.

That was really meaningful to me.

To top things off, Phil received his purple belt, which is another first for Adam. In the next 3-6 months I think we’ll see a few brown belts being issued at the club too, as there’s a few guys that are really close.

Nick’s not in this photo because he didn’t come to the beginner’s class, but he was awarded his belt at the beginning of the advanced class.

The “problem” with getting your blue belt is that now toe, ankle, knee, hip and all other leg locks are available to me. It’s a problem because I’ve never defended these attacks before, so traditionally you’re given a nice ass-kicking by one of the senior belts as a “welcome to the big leagues.”

My first roll was with Phil, and though he made a few attempts at my legs I was able to keep him at bay and finish the wrestle un-touched. I even managed a really nice figure-four sweep on him from my guard, so I was happy with how that wrestle went.

I had a roll with Adam, which never really counts. He won’t ever make you tap, but instead he puts moves on and lets them go before you’ve even worked out what’s going on :)

But it was the roll with Nathan where I consider my “cherry popped.” I got out of a few knee-bar attempts, but he ended up catching me with a great leg lock about 60 seconds into the match. His grin, though kind and cheerful, said it all:

“Welcome to the next level.”