Surprising displays of positive parenting
I came out of the cafe across the street from our office after getting my afternoon coffee. A little boy and his mum, probably in her mid thirties, were walking towards me along the footpath. The boy was energetic; he bounced down the street rather than walking. I heard him ask his mum if the car he saw up ahead was theirs. She replied it was. He then challenged her to a race, which she accepted.
And there you have it. A five year old going flat-tack down the sidewalk, being matched by a mum who's juggling a shopping bag but making use of her larger stride.
Last Sunday I visited Lennon* (and Kristy and Chad, but mostly Lennon :)
Lennon was doing some cooking (that is, playing with a bowl, some measuring cups and other whatnot). He had a Tupperware container with his Cruskits in that he coudln't open. Chad wouldn't open it until Lennon said "ta", which he wouldn't do. It's a male-ego thing. He had no problem asking mum nicely so the box was opened. He then proceeded to take all the biscuits out, and inadvertadly dropped a few on the carpet. Which he then inadvertadly stomped on.
Without thinking Kristy said "we need to eat these tomorrow Lennon" and he picked up his now-halved crisp bread and put it back into the box. It wasn't a big deal - the crumbs can be cleaned up (which incidently Lennon loves to do - you should see him burn around with the vacuum cleaner and broom). He clearly didn't meant to tip them all out, and he clearly didn't mean to squash them into the carpet. It's not that I had a low expectation of how Kristy would handle the situation, quite the opposite in fact, but it was still refreshing to see a child treated with respect when so many parents would have taken the opportunity to scold them.
I remember Richie making a point that often children aren't trying to be naughty. They're curious, and when you give them answers like "because I said so" then there's no surprise that it doesn't satisfy their curiosity.
These two instances have reminded me that parenting is the most important job a person will ever undertake, and whilst it doesn't balance out all the shit parents I see at shopping centres, it's good to know that some people understand the responsibility they've got. A responsibility that they knowingly undertook.
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* I can't easily determine what my user ID is for including in searches on Flickr. The URL has a w variable (which I'm guessing is for "who") and when I select "my photos" it sets w=me which I expect will be useless for everyone not logged in as me. Ohh well.
I couldn’t agree more and have massive respect for people that I know are just amazing parents and it clearly shows in their children.
I mean parents will at some stage be shit, and that’s human nature, so I try not to judge people when I see them do ‘bad’ stuff with their kids at the shops or a restaurant etc, it’s a stressful place for a child to chuck a wobbly or something. However I just think that if you calm down and approach things with a bit of logic children will tend to respond in kind. I’ve seen this so many times.
Anyway I thik we’ve talked about this before, but it’s a ‘job’ that I’m eager to undertake at some point in my life… hopefully in the relatively near future :)
Yeah same. Roll on the tiddlywinks.
I’ll show you this post when all of your kids, acting in concert because its fun to make daddy angry, have kept you awake for a week throwing tantrums, and infanticide is all you dream about.
Re: running mum. I have seen lots of people forget that kids are allowed to have fun, and that you’re allowed to have fun with them. I sometimes get the impression that people think kids having any sort of fun must be misbehaving.
Wait till you get your own and you will probably wish (when they are around age 3 to the day they move out of home) that you didnt have them at times.
Im basing these facts on the fact that I was a complete terror to my parents up till the age I moved out.
I agree that it’s not all cinnamon and sugar, but the parents I respect definitely say the annoyances are FAR outweighed by the massive pluses. I think a common thing is also that in most cases the parents are sometimes in awe of how wicked their kids are.
I am in no doubt, that just like with any other person I love, I will sometimes want to hurt them, but it’s never a serious consideration and I always love them :)